By Alison Grahn
On April 4, 1994 at 6:12 A.M. my son arrived, weighing in at 7 lbs. 11 oz. He was twenty and a quarter inches long. I named him Lucas James Grahn, James after my father. Both my delivery and my pregnancy didn’t go too well.
The last two months of my pregnancy I was put on bedrest because I was developing toxemia. Toxemia is a severe condition that sometimes occurs towards the end of pregnancy. The occurrence is higher in teenage mothers. It is characterized by high blood pressure, swelling of the hands, feet, and face, and excessive amounts of protein in the urine. I was showing all of the signs.
Not only did I develop toxemia, I also got gestational diabetes. No one knows how long I had it but it was discovered three weeks before my baby was due. I was put on large doses of insulin because my sugar levels were so high and out of control. Because of my diabetes and toxemia they decided to induce me. They tried three times and on the third my water broke. I was in labor for twenty hours and wouldn’t dilate. So, since my water was broken they needed to deliver him. I ended up having a C-section.
Because of my diabetes Luke was born more fragile than the average baby. He was big and looked healthy but he wasn’t. They let me see him for a minute, then they needed to take him up to the nursery because his blood sugar was dangerously low. Since I was producing no insulin to counter react my sugar, the baby needed extra insulin to fight off my sugar. When he was born he was still producing a lot of insulin, so his glucose levels were dropping. They needed to put an IV. in to get sugar into his system and he needed antibiotic because be was running a fever.
I was so excited to be able to take him home. People told me to take advantage of the time in the hospital because it would be overwhelming when I got home. I didn’t listen, I just wanted to get my baby home. Now I wish I would have listened. Boy, if I were to do it all over again, I would rest a lot more in the hospital and let the nurses do all of the work.
The day after I got home I was back to the doctor; my incision was infected. That was quite painful. Just when I started feeling better, everything went wrong again. I was so frustrated. I had to depend on my mom and sister a lot. They did most of the night feedings because I was in a lot of pain. I don’t know what I would have done without them.
To top that off, a few weeks after we were home from the hospital Luke had to go back in. He was hardly eating, throwing up what he did eat, and had been running a fever since birth. That was really scary, but I did get some rest, which was nice.
There have been times since I brought him home that I have second guessed my decision about keeping him. Sometimes I feel it would have been easier to give him up. I never realized how hard and challenging it is to be a mom. I also feel sometimes that he should have two parents, but I realize that he has a lot of love and he doesn’t need a dad. Our house is filled with love and support. The hardest thing is probably the loss of freedom. I am young and would like to party but my son needs to come first. That is a hard thing to deal with.
I am planning on starting college winter quarter. I would like to major in elementary education. That would be the ideal job for me, being a single parent. I would have vacations to spend with Luke and I would have the whole summer off to be with him. This already is and will continue to be a difficult journey, but I have the support to make everything work out.