Schools Excuses for Being Late
By Lisa Kopecky and Emily Matejcek
1. I was in here 10 minutes ago and you weren’t here, I went to go look for you in the hall.
2. My hamster’s in my wall.
3. Emily wasn’t ready and when I went to her door her bird kept on saying “hello” but wouldn’t let me in.
4. I got stuck in the elevator. Go ask the custodian!
5. I got locked in the bathroom.
6. I got stuck behind a funeral procession.
7. My dog ran out the door and I had to chase her in bare feet and a T-shirt through the snow. Then I finally caught her and the neighbor’s sprinkling system went on and I fell in the mud and then I had to take another shower. Look at my hand, see this bandaid! It’s covering 20 stitches, ‘cause my dog got in a fight with this other dog and the… the other dog bit me and I had to drive my dog and I to the hospital. while I was bleeding all over everything. So anyway, I’m not late because I had to clean the blood out of my car.
8. Uh, I don’t know.
9. I had to stop at McDonald’s, Man.
10. Nobody woke me up.
11. My starter went out.
12. I got a call at the last minute and had to pick up Hedtke.
13. I had to drive my mom to work first.
14. I just woke up.
15. I got pulled over.
16. Somebody stole my car. I had to walk.
17. There’s a bus strike.
18. I closed last night.
19. My ride was late.
20. I was captured by aliens and they picked my brain and left me in a field. I had to hitch a ride to school.