By Doug Berg
King Arthur had Excalibur, The Lone Ranger had silver bullets, General Patton had his pearl handled revolver, Dorothy had her ruby slippers, and Mini-School has THE SPOON.
About year 15 of Mini-School (this year is year 26), I began to wonder about our talisman. We must have one, I thought. I mean, I had taken Mini-School kids, not always known as the safest, most cautious of people, on canoe trips, bike trips, backpack trips, winter camping trips for fifteen years and no one had ever drowned, fallen off a cliff, frozen to death, been run over by a truck, or been dismembered by a another Mini-School student. What was the good luck charm? In fifteen years Mini School had turned over all its tents, canoes, backpacks, cook kits. What was it that went with me on every trip I did? Then it hit me. THE SPOON!
On the first ever Mini School trip, a canoe trip to the BWCA which I led with Pete Hagemes in 1970, we had nothing. I was scrambling around at the last minute, buying stuff, borrowing stuff. At the last minute I realized we needed a cooking spoon. It was too late to purchase one, so I went down to the Minnetonka High School kitchen, and when the cooks weren’t looking, I must confess, I took THE SPOON. It really wasn’t stealing, I rationalized, as THE SPOON had been purchased with Minnetonka tax dollars to prepare meals for Minnetonka High School students. Even though it would be doing so in different environments than the MHS kitchen, THE SPOON would be performing its intended duty.
In 26 years THE SPOON has gone everywhere I have gone with the Mini-School kids. It has stirred macaroni noodles in the BWCA, the Quetico, and Woodland Caribou Provincial Park. It has served up Dinty Moore Beef Stew along the St. Croix River, in Yellowstone National Park, and on the sands of Florida. It has ladled spaghetti down in the Grand Canyon and atop some of the highest peaks in the Great Smokies and the White mountains. It has withstood temperatures of -47 degrees in February in the BWCA and 120 degrees in May in the Grand Canyon. It has had close calls. It has fallen into lakes; it has been dropped into rivers; it has been buried in snowdrifts; it has been left behind at campsites. On one occasion, Rick Imker dropped it into a BWCA backwoods latrine, known as the Growler. Rick was committing an unpardonable offense, scraping leftover food from the cooking pot into the Growler. THE SPOON, refusing to be used in this manner, left his hand for the depths of the sewage in the Growler. Rick fished for it, but only brought up toilet paper. His friend, Tim Gould, retrieved it by excavating in from the side. We boiled THE SPOON for four hours.
Anyone who has been on a Mini School trip with me in the last eleven years understands the significance and importance of THE SPOON. THE SPOON is carefully cleaned every night after dinner, polished with margarine (it was stainless steel, but the Stainless part is ancient history and it must be polished to keep from rusting) and tucked away in the utensil bag. It is treated with appropriate reverence by all Mini-School trippers. No one dares mess around with it, hide it, or joke with it. There is no offense which would more quickly get a student expelled from Mini-School. When THE SPOON is not being utilized on one of my trips, it occupies a place of honor, hanging under lock and key, above my desk. Bunny is responsible for its security.
After all, it is important. It kept Andrea Hamilton from drowning in the Buffalo river. It kept Mike Phelps from hypothermia on the BWCA winter trip. If it weren’t along on the Yellowstone trip, Lisa Kopecky would still be trudging along out there, tears rolling down her cheeks as grizzly bears threatened her at every turn. If Adrian Dolentz, the lousiest weather girl Mini-School has ever appointed, had not taken the spoon to bed with her on last spring’s Utah/Green river trip, we’d have never gotten out of Nebraska. It is rumored that Al Wright used to sneak into the Mini-School office under the cover of darkness and pray to the spoon for credits to graduate. Against all odds, he did. The spoon saved Lola and Stimpy from the Grand Canyon’s man eating squirrels. It’s powers are legendary. If it were to be lost, I would take out no more trips. When Toby Marshall and Andrea Hamilton’s canoe overturned in the Buffalo River, Phil Lynott did not ask if Toby and Andrea were OK, he did not ask about the condition of their canoe, he said, “They weren’t carrying THE SPOON, were they?”
THE SPOON’S magic does not work for my colleagues. In fact, they won’t take it on their trips for fear they might lose it. It is the charm for my trips. It is the most important piece of gear on the trip. It is rumored that if I ever retire, THE SPOON will be bronzed and given to me. I can think of no greater honor. End of article. Thank you.