By Leah Shoberg
A grey/brown rat actually, with a white stripe down his cute tummy. Cletus is about one pound, and including his tail is about 16 inches long. He’s not my rat, but my brother’s, Mini alumni, Josh Shoberg. He’s here today to discuss his relationship with Cletus, and tell us a little bit about him.
Leah: How long have you had Cletus as a pet?
Josh: “About a year.”
L: How did you come up with the name Cletus?
J: “He’s got buck teeth…… what more do I have to say.”
L: In what type of cage do you keep him in?
J: “He’s just in a little glass cage on top of my dresser.”
L: What do you feed him?
J: “Dog food. But sometimes I give him a treat, like salad leaves, fruit, or pieces of bread.”
L: Do you take him out of his cage a lot?
J: “Every once in a while.”
L: I see, well, let’s find out what Cletus has to say.
Cletus: “Sniff, sniff, squeal, sniff.”
J: He said, “Yep, I’d have to say so.”
L: Do you enjoy being with Josh?
C: “Squeal squeal, squeak.”
J: What?! What the hell are you talking about?
C: Squeal, squeak, sniff, lick, scratch.
J: Why don’t you just calm down? You’re a rat for God’s sake!
C: SQUEAL!!!
J: I am not being insensitive!
C: Squeak, lick, sniff, scratch.
J: I think we need to reevaluate this relationship.
C: Squeak, lick squeal!
J: I… I feed you, shelter you….
C: Squeal squeak.
J: I care for you! About you!
C: Squeak, lick. ( kiss & make-up. )
L: Well, you heard it here first. Not only does the responsibility of holding together a relationship apply between humans, but between animal and human too. Thank you, and good night.
J: Maybe I should just buy a cat…
C: SQUEAK!!!