By Lester Hughes-Seamans
I suppose I should start by reporting that Annabelle is still alive and well and continues to live in my kitchen. Since my last report, I severely tore a muscle in my back putting the 50+ pound Annabelle down oh so gently in a shallow pool of water. She had gotten into some mud so I was trying to get her little hooves clean before returning her to the freshly mopped kitchen floor. That caused me to miss an entire week of school. I now have a heightened compassion for all who suffer back pain. Ooh, did that smart!
Anyway, shortly after that incident, my husband Stymie took Annabelle in for a little operation. We tired of her Pig M.S. every twenty one days. Annabelle would wander around the kitchen, crying and bleating. We’d let her outside and she’d run off into the woods looking for the boar of her dreams. She’d also have that occasional accident on the living room floor during those tortuous days of her mating cycle. We couldn’t stand it anymore, she had to be fixed!
Annabelle’s recovery went quite smoothly until Stymie had to return her to the vet to have her stitches removed. The vet and Stymie both tried to get Annabelle to lie down calmly on the table. I really wondered how that would go. My hunch was right, it did not go well at all. Anna would not lie down. So the vet decided that perhaps the procedure could be completed in a standing position. NOT! Anna was truly not cooperating. The next attempt involved getting a third helper to hold Anna down so the good doctor could do his thing. Stymie apologized for our little piggy friend as she began her hideous squealing. He shared with the vet that he hoped there wouldn’t be a drop in business as the folks in the waiting room, with their cute little dogs and cats, listened to Anna’s escalating screams of terror from the back room. Stymie admitted upon his return home that his ears were still ringing from the terrible sound.
Several months have now passed since the spaying, and I must say, it wasn’t the answer to our piggy problems. It took us a week and a half to figure out why Anna would no longer use her litter box. Finally, my husband discovered that because I had given Anna generic litter instead of Tidy Cat, she had refused to use the box. She preferred the entryway of our humble abode. It is a lovely experience coming home day after day, to a big puddle of piggy pee as you walk through the door. I have found it makes it very difficult for one to keep a positive outlook.
Last week, we had nearly had it. Stymie came home at lunch to check on our little friend. She had not only piddled in the entryway, but knocked over the coat rack as well, sending most of its contents into an ocean of pig urine on the floor! He scolded Anna, cleaned up the mess and returned to work. Three hours later, he came back home at the end of his day only to discover that Anna had made a repeat performance. This time, the rest of the jackets were soaked. Stymie took a long run that day to ponder the situation. His first thought was to off the poor beast with Grampa Seamans’ shotgun, but on second thought, he decided he didn’t have the nerve.
We decided that day Anna definitely had to go. Stymie called the vet to see if he knew anyone needing a pig. It was a start. We both took on an “I don’t care attitude.” That afternoon we let Annabelle wander off into the woods. We sat looking on from the deck. We were extremely relaxed, very resigned in our decision. We figured maybe someone else would take care of our problem for us. Five minutes later, the kids came out to tell us a neighbor had called to let us know that Anna was in their yard eating acorns and we should come get her. What thoughtful people!
Since all this, Anna has shaped up. Stymie put a board up across the entryway and Anna uses her Tidy Cat box again. Last night, she was all cuddled up on the living room floor with the whole family fighting over her. “I wanna be next to Anna.”
When we let her out alone now, she always goes to the same spot by the neighbors who fed her potato salad one day. She never seems to go far, but we’re thinking about building her a pigpen out back so she can be out longer periods of time and not in my barricaded kitchen.
What parents won’t do to have a great pet experience for the kids. We keep talking about a luau this summer. It’s hard to say right now if Annabelle will be there wearing a lei around her neck or an apple in her mouth. It’s a very up and down experience having a pig for a pet.